Where Is My Mom's Manual

I grew up in a house as the oldest child. I can remember my mom always being way harder on me than my little brother. It often created a major rift between me and my mom because I felt so unfairly treated. I think for this reason I was a daddies girl but also I think he saw how much harder my mom was on me and he had to compensate for it with me.

Today, I have two boys. It was just Luke and me for the first 4 almost 5 years of his life. We were very close and I did everything for this child. We were really tight and then his baby brother was born. Now I had to find a way to divide myself between two children. Something that truly is not as easy as one might think.

As Thomas has grown, I have found he gets the majority of my attention and Luke not as much. I have also found that I am so much harder on Luke. I yell at him more because he is supposed to know better. He should do more for himself and should be more grown up. When he doesn't do these things I become very frustrated with him and I am often really hard on him.

This really bothers me because I am treating Luke just like my mom did me. I now see her side of it but it still doesn't make it any better for Luke. I have to remind myself, yes he should know better, and yes he can do these things for himself but he is still only six years old.

Recently the two of them together have pushed every button I have and I end the day frustrated and flat out exhausted. I don't want to be like this and I have got to figure out how to be easier on Luke, but he can't just get away with things either.

So my question to all you moms with two or more kids. How do you divide yourself among your children? How do you make sure they feel equally loved by you? Its not that I don't love them equally but I do not manage my time well between them and I am a lot less patient with one over the other.