Funny Story from a Year Ago...

Today I was thinking back to last year at this time. I was 9 months pregnant and we had a lot going on before the baby was due. I remembered one of our major events of the fall and just felt the need to share.

Last fall we put a new roof on our house. My husband is a wonderful handyman with the exception of his need for perfection and that when he does anything it takes an eternity…. Literally anyone else could have done the job in say two days, it will take him six months. And as a side note, the roof over the garage still isn’t done and it has been a year now. Handy yes, timely he is not.

One of the things I worry about when he is working with power tools, heck who am I kidding any tool, I worry he will cut himself. Why do I worry about this, because the fool passes out cold at the sight of his own blood.

Now I am not talking a little blood, that is no big deal but if he gushes blood, down he goes, like a sack of potatoes. It’s not funny when it happens but I laugh so hard I cry when it is all over. I laugh because there is nothing funnier than a grown man who passes out at the sight of his own blood.

Now as I was saying, last fall we were putting on a new roof. I told him, do not cut yourself up their and go falling off the top of the house. I teased him as I said this but I was also very serious.

He was down to the last part of the roof and everyone had gone home so he was roofing alone. I here him howler and he was rushing down the ladder. I think great, what did he do now. Here he comes with his hand wrapped in his shirt and tells me he has sliced his finger with a knife. He won’t take it out of the shirt to let me see because he knows if he looks at it he will be down for the count. I am thinking to myself thank god you didn’t pass out and fall off the roof.

I had to drive him to the urgent care. He was all worried about putting his tools away and I was more worried about how I was going to pick his butt up off the ground if he passes out. I was 9 months pregnant at the time so this would not have been an easy task. We get their and they take him back to a room. I waited in the waiting room with Luke. Then I hear this load scream from a nurse and this huge crash. Well if you haven’t guessed by now, yes that crash was my husband passing out and trashing the room on his way to the floor. I guess when the nurse took his hand out of the shirt to see what he did, he looked at it. He didn’t warn them, he took one look at it and down he went. Now they had to give him stitches on his finger and they had to treat the big bump on his goofy head. Finally they make him lie down and keep his finger out of sight as he continues to feel faint as they clean him and stitch him up.

My poor husband finds this horribly embarrassing and he doesn’t like people to know he can’t control this. I am not very kind because I find it very funny. I am laughing right now just sharing this story with all of you.

He has only done this three times since I have known him. One time at work cutting something at lunch, slicing his finger and passing out in front of everyone. He has a scar on his chin from hitting the table that time. A second time in our basement from cutting his hand on a broken light bulb and then finally this latest time. He did almost cut his finger off with the table saw a couple years ago and he somehow managed to not pass out from this one. I don’t know how because this one was gross and just about made me faint.

See why I worry every time he uses power tools. He obviously isn’t very careful. Heck looking back I don’t know how he has all his fingers. .

Well it is fall again and he is all ready to take down this huge tree in our back yard that split in our last storm. The thought of him using a chain saw and log splitter just scares me to death.

So do any of you know someone who passes out at the sight of blood, needles or something unusual that makes them squeamish or faint?

Where’s the Romance…

The other day I was watching an old episode of Tori & Dean on Oxygen. This is a new show to me and I just recently got hooked on it, no clue why but I did. Any way, these two are just the cutest couple and so lovey-dovey to each other. He is always calling her mama in this really cute way. Well as I am watching in walks my lack of romance husband. Of course he sees what I am watching hears some of the cute things said on the show and he does one of these “how lame” comments with a not so nice jester. This just ticks me off because he had no clue that I was all warm and tingly from the romance I was seeing on the TV between a couple. He killed that warm and tingly feeling I was having instantly.

The man is clueless when it comes to wooing a lady. He is lucky he is married to me because I put up with it but if I was gone I believe he would remain single forever because he couldn’t woo a woman if he tried. Honestly, I am not sure how he hooked me. Luck, and I was young and stupid, I think! OK, that was mean because I do love him but I had to say it.

His attitude about anything romantic is awful and if he sees or hears anything it instantly gets the “how lame” comment. This does nothing for ones love life, let me just tell you. He makes fun of his friends that have any type of romance in them and calls them whipped. Honestly those friends could teach him a thing or two…. My husband’s idea of romance is buying me something sexy out of the Victoria Secrete Catalog. Seriously who is that for! I know it isn’t for my benefit otherwise they would be warm flannel pajamas, a bra that is practical and not pushing and pulling the girls in all the wrong directions, oh and the panties that look like dental floss, no thanks ….LOL

OK, I want to know, do you have a man like mine? Is he clueless about things that are romantic and if so, how bad? Or are you one of the lucky ladies that have landed Mr. Romance and what does Mr. Romance do for you that is so great?

His Crazy Obsession for Perfection

Today I am going to pick on my husband who is an engineer. I think his brain is wired very differently because he is an engineer and he can drive me crazy with his neurotic obsessions with perfection in every task that he does around the house.

Back in May he bought more bricks to build a flower bed in our front yard. Now the moment he brought these home I was mad because on the opposite side of the drive way is a brick flowerbed that has not been finished.

He built it with the bricks 2 years ago but never filled it with dirt for me. Instead of a pretty flowerbed we grow pretty weeds and grass in an empty flowerbed. I wanted to fill this flowerbed long ago but he wouldn’t let me because he wanted to do something with the bricks. Last summer came and I couldn’t fill it because I was pregnant and just couldn’t manage moving all that dirt to fill it. This summer I have a baby on the go and there is no easy way to get out into the yard and fill it in either (to close to the road).

Now back to today’s flowerbed. In May he bought bricks to make a second flowerbed (or weed bed as I would call them). I was not happy but he said he would build it that weekend and finish them both. Haha, I said, no way and was I ever right. I don’t want to be right but he takes forever to do anything.

He has worked on this flowerbed every weekend since May and he just finished the first row of bricks. I blame this on the fact that he is an engineer who obsesses over all the wrong things. Picture this… he is out their with his tools, level, laser level and everything else to make sure that each brick is at the perfect height and they are nice and level. Anyone else would have built this in one day but not my husband. Oh no, he uses three different levels, adjusts each brick just so, so and drives me crazy the entire time.

What drives me the craziest about his need to perfectly engineer the bricks is the fact that the end product can be unfinished and look awful but that doesn’t matter because each brick has been perfectly positioned? I could just scream….All I want is a nice place to plant a few flowers!

He is this way with every project he does. I remember when we laid ceramic tile in our bathroom a few years ago and he was worse with the leveling on this project. The poor glue was setting faster than he could put down a tile. I am sure I drive him nuts because I am the exact opposite and will eye-ball everything and say looks good.

Does anyone else have an engineer for a husband who does these types of crazy things? OK he doesn’t have to be an engineer but does your husband obsess over tasks or never finish projects? I need to know I am not alone on this one…..

P.S. If my camera battery isn't dead tonight I will add a picture of my current weed bed for everyone to see. :)