The Mommy Verses the Career Debate

One of my biggest reasons for choosing to do a blog was so that I could write down how I am feeling and maybe find some help with where my life is supposed to be going. I have a great career but I don’t really want it because I would much rather be at home playing with my kids. Yesterday is a perfect example of me trying so hard to take on more than I can handle as my to-do-list is much larger than I am ever going to accomplish and I also need to find time to play with the kids.

Yesterday my day began at 5:45 AM and I hit the floor running from the moment I got up. I have 45 minutes to get myself showered, dressed, and made up to be presentable for work and eat something before getting the kids up. 6:30 the boys are up and I am fighting to get clothes on, diapers changed and shoes tied. Next I need to feed them. Luke takes 30 minutes just to eat one bowl of cereal. No wonder he is 5 years old and 34 pounds soaking wet. I let him eat on a TV tray in the living room each morning so he can watch cartoons. This is not the best choice now that Thomas crawls. He is usually grabbing at Luke’s cereal bowl and this morning he dumped it. Finally we are ready to head out the door at 7:10. Luke’s socks are bothering him and the shoes and socks are off, there is always something and it is always when it is time to go. Most of the time it is 7:15 or 7:20 before we are pulling out of the drive way; now we are late. I have two stops to make as Thomas goes to the sitter and Luke goes to preschool. Thomas is not to tough to drop off, if anything I talk to much with the sitter and really need to just run in and out but I don’t. Then Luke has drama when I drop him off. Some days he says good bye and that is it I am out the door. Not on this day, he hugs to my leg and refuses to let me go. This is just one more thing to make me late to work.

8 A.M I arrive at work (work is 15 minutes from home but I leave at 7:15) and the long work day begins. Sometimes I love what I do and other days I just want to say screw it and walk out the door, yesterday was a screw it type of day. Finally at 4:45 I am out the door and back in route to pick up the kids and arriving home between 5:30 and 5:45.

Now I have two really bad dogs that are dying to go out and be fed. 50% of the time they will have torn something up, or gotten into something they shouldn’t have and I will have some mess to clean up. Today they knocked all my mail off the table onto the floor. My lab thinks she is a damn cat and gets on top of the table. Visualize a 50 lb dog lying in the center of the dinning room table. It isn’t pretty! I can’t keep her off of it so I gave up long ago.

I can’t stand dog hair so I end up vacuuming my hardwood floors everyday. I get home and see hair and go nuts so out the vacuum comes and I sweep every room downstairs. I really don’t know why because 10 minutes later I see hair again.

Since we were gone all weekend I didn’t get to do any of last weeks laundry so I need to do a load or two each night just to get caught back up and make dinner. It is now 7 and my husband finally arrives home. He commutes an hour everyday so he is gone at 6:30 and always works overtime. I still think he does it to avoid helping me. Who am I kidding; if he is home he doesn’t help.

Now dinner is over and it is bath and bed time for the boys. I first clean up the kitchen and then do baths and bed time. After that is all said and done it is now 9 and I am tired and ready for bed myself. I get everybody’s stuff ready for the next day and then say good night to my husband. He has the nerve to ask me when he gets to spend time with me. I am not trying to neglect him but I have had a long day and I am tired.

The saddest part of all this, I can already see today has started repeating yesterday. When do I get a little time for me and where is the quality play time with my kids. It is the repeat of this day over and over again that makes me really want to be a stay at home mom.